Friday, April 01, 2005

Dear Gentle (&Vicious) Readers,

There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are, what you do, how you live, and who your friends are. It's okay to have opinions that don't match the opinions of your friends. Just don't let those differences define the friendship, and simply accept and appreciate them or move on. Most of us are reasonably intelligent individuals, raised in different environments with different sets of moral values. They don't always coincide. Accept that, learn to love, and be open to new ideas and change. Always change. Use those base values as a springboard, but always continue to question and improve upon them after you dive into this crazy world of individuality within a homogenized culture.

If you feel good about yourself, go on and say so. Write about how great it feels to work out, to hike, to bicycle everywhere, to eat right - especially if you are emerging from past self-destructive or unhealthy situations. Tell the world how good you feel, and boast about this positive direction. Show them. Just fucking shine. We need more of that. I'd rather hear about how your new haircut makes you feel sexy, than about how fat and gross you feel. I don't want to hear about how much you hate your ex's new girlfriend because she is fit, and cute, and young. Don't exclude people from your life based upon their looks, and your low self-esteem, and don't dwell on other people's personal choices. In dwelling on your feelings of inadequacy, you just may miss out on the most amazing connections. Get out, enjoy the world. I want to know what everyone is focusing on in order to come close to personal happiness and peace.

Strive to make peace with your enemies. Smile at them. Wave in recognition. Show them that you are not afraid to be in the same room with them, enjoying the same friends, the same music, and the same atmosphere. Show them that you have no enemies, nor the desire to dwell in past differences. Rise above it, and learn to coexist on this tiny planet.

There is no wrong way to mourn. If it makes you feel better to write about it, to discuss it with friends, to cry or not cry publicly or privately, or to avoid discussion of it. . .all are valid. It is not okay to judge others or to assume that your reaction to loss is superior. It is not okay to use loss as a method of belittling others, or to validate your own righteousness. It is a terrible, and confusing process that only time and patience can help soothe.

Express your creativity, and allow what drives you to do so freely. Don't censor yourself based upon misinterpretations or ill-opinions of your art. Everyone has a choice as to what they read, and if something is disagreeable, stop reading. Don't leave the library or cut yourself off from all other ideas because you can't appreciate just one. Remember that what is BEHIND this art is a human, with a range of feelings, ideas, phases, and who is also in a constant state of growth and change, just as you are.

What ever you do, avoid basing an entire opinion about an artist or writer based solely upon what comes out in his or her writing or art. Avoid forming a solid opinion around the gossip and interpretations you receive from others. Avoid centering any notions about one's character based upon a comparison of physical features, abilities. Avoid jumping to conclusions by actually (gasp) learning to communicate. Listen. Accept. And most importantly, quit trippin.' You are loved!